Descartes said "I think, therefore I am." His point was really that the very fact that you are able to wonder if you exist, is proof that you do exist because you have the ability to think. Now that may be all good and well, but to be honest, that's like so 17th Century! This famous line should really have been "I moan, therefore I am." I mean let's face it... there are so many annoying people out there that it's really really easy to moan about the ridiculous things (dumb) people do/say. .... and to be honest, the fact that I can moan about dumb, stupid people and the things they do - makes me know that I am very very (very) much alive!
Things that bug the crap out of me:
- People who get into a lift (particularly on the Ground floor) before the existing occupants have got out. I mean - WTF! Do the people getting in think the existing occupants are riding up and down for fun... surely we need to get out and it's a whole lot easier doing it without an influx of people squashing you further and further into the lift.
- On that note - people who insist on standing on top of you in a lift, even if you are the only 2 occupants. ?? Pick a corner dude - there are four!
- Oh and while I'm on lifts... people who insist on greeting everyone in a lift when they get in. We are all strangers - there is no need to be friendly. Get in, shut up and stare at the buttons as they light up like the rest of us.
- People who start a sentence with "Sorry....!" "Sorry, but can I help you?", "Sorry to ask you this but...." If you're so sorry to be asking me, then don't ask.
- If I offer you something, I mean it, otherwise I wouldn't be asking... so don't say "Only if you're having", "Are you making" etc. I'm offering - either say yes or no or shut the ^&%$ up.
- Something that I'm sure annoys the majority if us - people who insist on standing up against you in a queue. Personal space buddy - personal space. What's even more annoying is the more you move forward trying to escape the more the person creeps along with you. WTF?
- People who insist on touching me when they speak. Now, I don't mind a friend doing this but when a stranger feels the need to emphasise each point with a touch on my arm makes me want to casually mention I carry a flick knife and if his hand touches me one more time he's likely to loose a digit or 10.
- Couples who dress the same. Enough said. There really is nothing more one can say. Nothing. Except.. it's even worse when they wear matching tracksuits. I mean, there is nothing sexy about a tracksuit - ever - and it's even less appealing when it's unisex. Enough said. Really. I get worked up just imagining same dressed couples!
- People (Mom) who have conversations with other people (Dad) while you are talking to them on the phone. Yes, even multitasking has a limit.
- People who only start scratching for their wallets when the teller says "R395 please." I mean WTF - they have know all along that they are going to have to pay for their stuff. When the cashier starts scanning your items, take out your damn wallet and get your card/cash ready. It's not going to be free, so you are going to have to get your wallet out at some point - rather sooner than later, which will allow the rest of us who have a life to get on with our business.
- Drunk people who say "I've had too much to drink." - we know you have. It's obvious. You don't need to tell us.
- People who come up to me AT WORK and say "Are you working? Sorry to interrupt.... BUT....." WTF? Yes I'm working. If you're sorry to interrupt why did you interrupt in the first place. The only "BUT" I am interested in is seeing yours as you walk away. Now leave my WORK area dumb ass.
... and speaking about work, I had better get to my job before they fire my dumb (complaining) ass!
Oh, wouldn't the world seem dull and flat with nothing whatever to grumble at?
~W.S. Gilbert
