Fittingly the journey starts with B!

My “ABC” journey into my 40’s has begun.. and fittingly, the first letter I’ll be taking on is B (for those who don’t get it.. Bernadette Beckley – Duh!).  It wasn’t intentional mind you.  This particular “thing” is something I’ve always wanted to do and since it doesn’t require much planning or preparation – say like, riding the Argus for example, I decided that now was as good a time as any to cross a letter off my list.

I’m going to Braid my hair!

Now I don’t mean, a pretentious French braid snaking down the back of my head.... I want full-on cornrows!  Preferable with a couple of beads at the end of each braid! 

In addition to this, I want the whole “braid experience”.  So instead of having my braids done at some well-heeled salon in Canal Walk where I can sip on a steaming cappuccino and eat Petit Fours (my current word of the moment…. I squeeze “Petit Fours” in whenever I can ) I am going to go down to the Parade in Cape Town and in the shadow of the magnificent Table Mountain and curious stares of sun-burnt foreigners, I’m going to get my “hair done” !

Now for those who don’t know, getting your hair done at the Parade even involves some choices apparently.  A reliable source told me I can get my braids done in the privacy of a makeshift tarp salon (Braid Option A – benefit: Privacy) or I can sit on an upturned bucket and get my hair done out in the open like a tourist attraction (Option B – benefit: my picture may appear in Irish tourist Gloria McPhee’s* Facebook page in her album entitled “My trip to Cape Town - the more unusual sites”).

So who knows how this is going to turn out ? What will I look like when this is all over?  Who knows?  All I know is that for the duration of the Summer Holidays… I don’t have to brush my hair!  Bonus!  One less thing to do !

*By some chance if an Irish Gloria McPhee does exist, the use of your name was unintentional… but if you are planning a trip to SA soon – come look for me on the Parade, I'll be the white lady sitting on an upturned bucket having her hair done!

What is your Legacy?

Everybody needs a tonic.  Now I know what you’re thinking, it’s Friday… and in a couple of hours you’ll hopefully be sitting with your feet up drinking a GIN and tonic!  But alas, that’s not what I had in mind.

The other day a friend and I (fyi not my friend-with-a-life but another one) were talking about the importance of surrounding yourself with people that make you feel good.  The kind of person that adds a little bit of pizazz to your day.   She said that her dad used to say people like that are like a “tonic”.   I liked that analogy!  “A tonic”… (it’s become my word of the moment)  It got me thinking then… what was I?  Was I a “tonic” to my friends or did I leave them reaching for a different kind of tonic once I left the building?

Which then lead me to yet another, even deeper thought! (I was really on a roll on this particular day)  What is my Legacy… what will I leave behind?

 At a Mother’s Day tea earlier this year Nataniel was the guest speaker.  For those who have never seen him in action must do themselves a favour and see him perform.  He is amazing!  I can’t remember a whole lot about his talk (not because it wasn’t good but simply because I was laughing way too much to concentrate for long periods at a time) But the question he posed to the audience of ladies (mostly moms) was this: What will your Legacy be?  When you die what will you be remembered for? 

Now I have been to many seminars, functions and other gatherings where a guest speaker rambles on about some or other topic that he/she hopes is going to influence your life in some monumental way… well until Nataniel’s talk, I can safely say, none had.  His question was so simple – yet so powerful!  I realised then that what I do NOW affects how people will remember me long after I'm gone (after all when I’m dead, I sure as hell can’t change anything then!).

So I often pause to think about what my legacy will be?  How will my children remember me?  How do I want them to remember me? (Will I be remembered as a frazzled mom who tidied all day, cooked 3 course meals but never had time to play Barbie or will I be remembered as a mom who didn’t make the beds every day, was ok with egg on toast for supper…. But had time to spend lying on the grass watching the birds eat from the birdfeeder?)  How would friends describe me? (Am I a tonic or do I leave friends in need of a tonic when I leave!)

Instead of aimlessly cruising on to my 40’s… I’m going to start living a life that leaves behind a legacy I’ll be proud of. 

So, what is your Legacy? 

p.s Nataniel, if you are reading this… I seem to recall (and please forgive me if my memory is somewhat fuzzy) you saying that if just 1 out of the 400 moms at the tea walked out and gave the “Legacy Question” some serious thought… then your goal would have been achieved and that would be your Legacy.  Well, my friend, mission accomplished…

I'd like to think I have a life

While discussing the merits of sitting at the school sports day recently, a friend of mine very bravely announced that she definitely wasn’t sitting there all day because she’d like to think, and I quote “I have a life!”  While some of the other mothers looked on in shock and horror at her openly admitting that she had better things to do than sit at the Sports Day all day (after all… what good mother has better things to do than sit at a School Sport’s Day?), I was relieved that someone had the courage to acknowledge what most of us were probably thinking anyway!  Why do (most) mothers feel that once they have kids, they are no longer allowed to have a life of their own? 

Needless to say, the friend –with-a-life and I went to the Sports Day, watched the march in parade, made sure our kids were settled, sun-screened and sorted and then went to a nearby coffee shop for breakfast.  As we walked away from the stadium (and as luck would have it, the exit was on the opposite side of the grandstand in FULL-VIEW of the “good moms”) I swear I could feel the daggers and hear the fervent whispers between sips of bad coffee poured from big flowery flasks, but for once, I didn’t care – I had a life!

So after a scrumptious breakfast and 2 jumbo cappuccinos, we made our way back to the stadium to watch our daughters run.  I must admit we did experience a heart stopping moment when we thought we’d missed their race and both swore blind that we’d lie and say we saw them run and that they were FANTASTIC!  But we didn’t miss the race (we saw all 10 seconds of it), so there was no need to lie - this time! 

It just goes to show one doesn’t need to spend all day (8 long hours in this case) shivering under a fleecy blanket drinking crap coffee from a flask to show you're a supportive involved mom.  Surely we've earned the right to show our support during their 10 seconds in the lime light, but can spend the other 7hrs and 50seconds "having a life"?

... it began with a simple email!

One could say that the email was the proverbial "last straw".  It wasn’t particularly earth-shattering, it wasn’t even that big a deal in the greater scheme of things – but when my response to it was “I really don’t give a $%^&”, I realised then that it was time to move on.

An extract from the “last straw” email:

on slide 12 of the  Presentation there is this sentence:

'Costs will only be captured after the Receipt has been posted – when you balance to the Invoices'

can you please clarify for me what balance to the Invoices means?

I was CC’d in on  this email because said Presentation was developed by me, so hence the “balance to the invoices” grammatical error was mine.  However, upon reading this email, my usual response of quickly fixing the error and apologising to everyone from the MD to the Security Guard for  my literary incompetence didn’t kick in… my only and I mean ONLY thought was “I really don’t give a $%#$”.  And the truth was, I REALLY (really) didn’t give a %^$#.  In fact, a week later, the presentation was still balancing "to the Invoices". 

It was then that I realised, my time in training material development had come to an end.  Ensuring that sentences involving “invoices”, “balancing” and “costs” were grammatically correct, just didn’t do it for me anymore.  The 4 hrs that I spent every day developing this material, was 4 hours of my life that I couldn’t get back and I decided there and then, I wasn’t going to waste a minute more. 

So for the record, my spelling isn’t great. I will make grammatical errors (that's been proven). I’ll try my best to proof read and fix them, but you know what, if you come across an error, and no doubt you will, deal with it and move along swiftly, because you can bet your ass, that that's what I’ll be doing!!

Future blogs will explain more about my B4 Forty journey.. so check in from time to time as I cruise my way through the alphabet over the next 3 years!!