While discussing the merits of sitting at the school sports day recently, a friend of mine very bravely announced that she definitely wasn’t sitting there all day because she’d like to think, and I quote “I have a life!” While some of the other mothers looked on in shock and horror at her openly admitting that she had better things to do than sit at the Sports Day all day (after all… what good mother has better things to do than sit at a School Sport’s Day?), I was relieved that someone had the courage to acknowledge what most of us were probably thinking anyway! Why do (most) mothers feel that once they have kids, they are no longer allowed to have a life of their own?
Needless to say, the friend –with-a-life and I went to the Sports Day, watched the march in parade, made sure our kids were settled, sun-screened and sorted and then went to a nearby coffee shop for breakfast. As we walked away from the stadium (and as luck would have it, the exit was on the opposite side of the grandstand in FULL-VIEW of the “good moms”) I swear I could feel the daggers and hear the fervent whispers between sips of bad coffee poured from big flowery flasks, but for once, I didn’t care – I had a life!
So after a scrumptious breakfast and 2 jumbo cappuccinos, we made our way back to the stadium to watch our daughters run. I must admit we did experience a heart stopping moment when we thought we’d missed their race and both swore blind that we’d lie and say we saw them run and that they were FANTASTIC! But we didn’t miss the race (we saw all 10 seconds of it), so there was no need to lie - this time!
It just goes to show one doesn’t need to spend all day (8 long hours in this case) shivering under a fleecy blanket drinking crap coffee from a flask to show you're a supportive involved mom. Surely we've earned the right to show our support during their 10 seconds in the lime light, but can spend the other 7hrs and 50seconds "having a life"?
I have just started reading your blog and love your line "Why do (most) mothers feel that once they have kids, they are no longer allowed to have a life of their own?" This is a question that alot of women (mothers especially) should ask themselves, they should sit and sit and sit until they are satisfied with the answers they come up with because with this question comes answers of guilt and guilt isn't healthy for anyone. I asked myself this question 3 years ago and it saddens me that women feel like they are 'less of a mother' if they have a life of their own. I for one never want to lose my identity of who I was and the dreams I had before having my son because as far as I'm concerned I am still that same woman with those same dreams and I will still go after them and hopefully show my son they can still be achieved and show him I'm not just his mother, I am a woman too. Loving your blog so far....now I shall read on - Sheona
ReplyDeleteI so relate to this post. Unfortunately (for those Good Moms) I also do the drop them off, make sure they are settled and head to the nearest coffee shop with a friend. We swear blind that the Mugg and Bean in Vincent Park (EL) would close without our support. I have also been known to lie through my teeth to my son, swearing blindly that I, in fact, did see his amazing try (when, truth be told, I was at least 1,5 km away with a cupaccino in hand)
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