The Concert Conundrum!

Benjamin Franklin once said that there were only two things certain in life: death and taxes. I'm guessing that school concerts were not de rigueur in the 18th Century otherwise Ben's famous quote would be: There are only THREE things certain in life: death, taxes and school concerts!

Lights, Camera, Action!

Now I love a good show as much as the next parent.  Watching my (very talented!) children perform on the stage is awesome... watching 785 other kids perform...... not so much! Even worse still is generally your offspring appears on stage for all of 10 seconds usually wearing a mask, silly ears or holding a million branches (unfortunately there is always 1 child that must be "the tree"). 

And slipping away is not an option!  Schools are clever in this way.  They generally have a Grand Finale where EVERYONE must make 1 last appearance on stage at the very end of the show!!!  What a waste of time - I mean how easy is it to find your child amongst 785 other faces all adorned with masks, silly ears and in one case - branches!!  (At least his mom will know where he is - being "the tree" might not be such a bad idea after all!)

Nevertheless our school is having a concert this week.  Now usually they stage a 2 night 3 hour production every other year.  Two years ago, my daughter did a 10 second number in the first 5 minutes of the show and we were left to watch 785 children we didn't know do amateur dramatics for another agonising 2hrs and 55 mins.

This year we were pleased to hear that the concert would be split with some grades performing on one night and others performing on the next - so there was no need to attend 2 nights or in our case watch 1 night but still take our kids through on the next night. But as fate would have it (I must have been very bad in a previous life), my kids were performing on separate nights!  Oh the Joy!  Two nights of entertainment!  But then we heard there was a twist.  Our ticket would get us into 4 shows as the concert this year was not 1 big production on a stage but various little shows in different venues. 

So now I have a choice.  Do I watch my child's show 4 times (in-a-row) or do I watch it once and then watch 3 other grades? (i.e. kids I don't know)  Do I watch my child's show twice and then pick 2 other grades???  Do I watch my child's show 3 times and then find 1 other grade to watch?  Or do I just have root canal?

... and then, I am faced with the same dilemma the next night! 

However, He Who Can Do No Wrong (HWCDNW), is one of the ring masters in his show. So he has some lines!  I have heard "Roll up roll up roll up get your tickets reeeeeady" so many times now, I feel like getting my tickets ready and shoving them up his nose!  In my quiet moments I even find myself softly mouthing "The circus magurgus the cream of the cream... the circus magurgus, the circus supreme....."  WTF?

Anyhoo.. the concert forms part of the school's cultural week, which in itself is actually pretty cool.  Since the Government Shuffler and her two left feet aren't exactly in the running (no pun intended) for the Victrix Ludorum trophy one day, this week is right up her alley!  In addition to all the concerts, artwork is also going to be displayed.... and sold!

Now once before I wrote about the copious amounts of artwork that get sent home each week (free of charge!).  In fact the art is made with paper bought from school fees, donated buttons, feathers, bottle caps, old boxes and other recyclables.  But during this special week, artwork isn't just sent home free of charge as per normal... nope - you need to buy it!  Worse still, when you do purchase your child's artwork (and who isn't going to) they put a SOLD sticker on it!!!!!  So by Friday it's going to be glaringly obvious which parent hasn't coughed up R20 bucks for a drawing of a owl/pirate/underwater basket weaver that technically you've actually already paid for in one way or another!!!

But I understand that this is all to raise money for the school and the kids are all excited to have their 15 min (10 seconds) in the limelight! So I'll be there on Wednesday AND Thursday with money (hip flask?) in my pocket ready to splash out 20 rands on a picture of an owl... no wait, sorry a pirate... ugh....I see it now - it's an underwater basket weaver!