Just call Mary... Mary Poppins!

Mary P and I have something in common. No, I don't float around gracefully using a big black umbrella, nor do I believe that "a spoon full of sugar helps the medicine go down".  Its just that Miss P and I both have bags containing interesting contents... granted mine doesn't hold a coat rack or an indoor plant BUT it does contain some rather interesting goodies that would make Mary very very proud! (To be honest I'm glad I make one Mary happy because lets face it, Mary Holroyd is pretty unimpressed with me right about now!)

The other day My Friend With A Life (MFWAL) was commenting about my lack of fashion sense (again) and naturally my big brown bag became the topic of conversation.  Like my black shoes that I wear with everything (everyday), I also carry my brown bag everyday.  Pale yellow dress - black shoes, brown bag.  Jeans and red top - black shoes, brown bag.  Night out on the town - black shoes, brown bag. I kid you not. 

My big brown bag is practical.  It goes with pretty much everything (Well at least I think it does).  And it holds everything I need or might need during the day.  So when I got home I decided to empty the bag and peruse the contents.  This is what I found:

1.  A used knife:  I had breakfast at work.  Originally my bread and the jar of peanut butter were also in my bag, but I left them at work because I knew I'd have breakfast there again the next day. 

2.  Toothpaste:  Now this is a conundrum.  There's no toothbrush and I generally don't brush my teeth during the day??  So why the hell was I carrying toothpaste around?

3.  Green Highlighter:  I haven't highlighted anything since I was in varsity 15 yrs ago.  So who knows why the f%&^% I have a highlighter.

4.  Orange Cold Drink Lid:  No sign of the bottle... but I'm guessing its lieing somewhere in my car! (The contents of my car... now that's a whole other post!)

5. Red Lid from Pen:  ?? Where's the pen?  Who uses a red pen anyway??

6.  Push Pencil:  I haven't used a pencil since Sub B (Grade 2 to those who went to school after 1994.)

7.  Very Old Empty chewing gum wrapper:  I guess I ate them?? In 2010 perhaps?

8.  A see through bead:  Don't know where its from and why I'm carrying it.

9.  Nail Polish:  Another conundrum since I only wear nail polish on high days and holidays and tea with the Queen.

10.  My Diary:  I'm trying really hard to be organised this year and not rely on the diary of Bronwyn Dryden.  My poor friend is not only responsibility for making sure her 2 boys are where they should be... but also updates me on whats happening when and where with regards to all things "School".

11.  10 Go Go's:  I'm a mom - go figure.  But I seriously don't know how these suckers ended up in MY bag!

12.  Empty wallet:  Well every bag needs a wallet, regardless of whether its full of money or not!

13.  A very old slip.... circa 2009 I believe:  I'm guessing that I am way past the last date to return whatever the item is that belongs to the slip.

14.  Empty Sunglasses Case:  My sunglasses are everywhere BUT in their case.

15.  An empty zip lock bag:  I'm thinking that it contained food at some stage???

16.  Another empty sunglasses case:  WTF? I only own one pair of sunglasses.  SO where are these glasses and who do they belong to?

17.  A watch strap:  One half of a cheapy MacDonald's/Wimpy/KFC toy.

18.  Mascara:  Why this would be in my bag is a mystery.  I seldom where make-up and when I do I put it on in the bathroom in the morning.  I NEVER reapply make-up! 

19.  A Memory Stick:  Well there must be at least 1 sign in my bag to show I do actually work!

20.  An industrial size tape measure:  Well they say size counts and I guess I'm just prepared for the time when I need to measure and make sure!

21.  2 Expired Aquarium Cards:  It's funny I have the 2 expired cards but have NO IDEA where the new ones are. 

22.  15c in change:  I think I might be able to buy 1 half of a sniff of petrol fumes with that. 

and last but not least:

23.  Happy Pills:  Because lets face it, the contents of this bag is enough to given anyone anxiety!

P.S.  It's funny ... more than half the contents of my bag are either old, used or empty.  I seriously hope a handbag isn't meant to be a reflection of ones life!