Going Commando - The Underpant Saga !

There are just some things that as a mom  one needs to check before the kids leave the house – are their teeth brushed, is their hair brushed, are their clothes clean (well, cleanish at least), that kind of thing… but with my son I have now realised I need to add something else to my check list.  “Do you have underpants on?!!”  And it was really only by chance that I discovered I needed to ask this question. Recently I realised that when picking up his clothes after he undressed for his bath there were never undies amongst the pile.  So I would politely enquire if he had worn jocks that day and low and behold the answer was no! Nice!

I should have been expecting it because the Government Shuffler went through a similar phase and on one or two occasions we’d find ourselves somewhere and she’d be cartwheeling to her hearts content with her lady-bits on display for all the world to see.  But she quickly cottoned on to the idea that once the nappy came off something far more comfortable and convenient replaced it.  Like with all things, the tiny male in the house, is taking a little longer to grasp this idea. (Never mind the fact that he was potty trained at two and a half and recently turned five!!)

I guess it’s not the end of the world if he doesn’t wear under-rods, I mean he is a guy after all and going commando is just something guys do apparently??  But I think the problem is more that while I don’t mind the fact that he doesn’t wear “jundies” (as my brother calls them), I don’t want the infamous “they” or “them” thinking that I don’t dress my child properly! What if he hurts himself at school and while he is being cleaned up “they” notice he has no briefs on – what a terrible mother, they’ll think… she doesn’t even make her child wear underwear to school!  What if he goes on a play-date and needs to change and the other mom notices he doesn’t have jocks on – what will “they” say at the next party or parking lot gossip session! Dreadful dreadful, underpant forgetting mother!

It’s the same with weeing in the garden.  The mini male loves to wee in the garden – as does his dad and come to think of it every other male at any braai I’ve ever been to. (We get it guys; you can pee, anywhere, anytime, anyplace!)  In fact as soon as we come home the little piddler is suddenly bursting for the toilet and simply can’t wait the 30 seconds it will take to get inside, so he has a quick (or in his case usually a really really long) wee next to the wall.  The problem arises when we visit friends and the government shuffler comes running in to tell me that the mini male is watering the friend’s flowerbeds because he can’t walk the 5 meters to the toilet!  I then have to put on my shock and horror face and pretend that this is the “FIRST TIME HE HAS EVER DONE SOMETHING LIKE THIS!!”

How does one teach a child what’s acceptable at home (e.g. going commando, walking around naked, weeing in the garden, picking your nose), isn’t necessarily ok when you’re out and about (unless you’re a student because well then let’s face it anything goes – you’re considered an oddity if you’re not caught at some point naked, peeing in a garden with a stolen stop sign under your arm - even the guys!)

So each day I lay out the mini male’s clothes and make sure the jundies are on the TOP of the pile… but still I need to check because he might see them, he might even put them on, but now I’m faced with yet another underpant dilemma………. !  (Picture below was not Posed)