I am living proof that you are never to old to compete in a) a general knowledge quiz with 1500 contestants (well give or take a few if we minus the gamblers, the late sleepers, the really doff, the uninterested and the drunk) and b) a "Beauty" pageant (and I use the term "beauty" very very loosely in this context).
On our first morning on the boat the Entertainment Dream Team announced there was going to be a quiz and "amazing prizes" could be won! I had to enter - I mean "amazing prizes" on a cruise could only mean a complimentary cruise, an upgrade to a premier suite or at the very least free cocktails. So I got my form and mentally prepared myself.
The first question was read out and I wrote down my answer... this was going to be a piece of cake! I was happily sitting on my lounger contemplating question 2 when out of no-where this overly friendly gentleman decided that he was going to be my quiz buddy and proceeded to plonk himself next to me.
I don't have a huge problem with personal space and really don't mind when GOOD FRIENDS touch my arm etc when chatting to me.... but it felt a little weird when a middle aged man felt the need to squeeze my arm in anticipation of each new question and then slap my knee when he felt we answered it correctly! Even more bizarre was that The Husband was sitting right next to me and his Missus in front of us.... anyway, different strokes!
When all 10 questions were answered we perused them, changed one or two and handed in our sheet. Neither of us thought "we' stood a good chance - the quiz was really really difficult. Nevertheless with my name entered as the contestant, off our paper went and off my quiz buddy went to get cocktails. Then suddenly they announced there were 4 finalist and "Bern" was one of them... all four finalists were tied on 7 out of 10. At this point I must give my buddy credit, if it wasn't for him I wouldn't have know that there were 7 pillars of Wisdom - and with that answer correct I had managed to tie with 3 other brainiacs. So up I went.
For those who have been on a cruise or to any resort where there is an "entertainment team" you'll know that their main job is take the mickey out of any sucker silly enough to sit in the front row of a show or do well in a quiz! So while walking up, the quiz master is saying (LOUDLY).. "hmm Bern, short for Bernice, Bernadine, Bernard?" I wanted to politely say No, "Afrikaans Box" it's short for Bernadette. But I held my tongue... I didn't want to get into word fight with the entertainer. I'd seen too many people try and take on the late Fiona Coyne on Weakest Link and they ALWAYS came off second best.
I also didn't want to draw too much attention to myself, which was hard since I was wearing a bright orange Melody pool towel and as we all know, Orange is SO last year! Had a known I would be appearing on stage in front of hundreds of people, I would have slipped on a little black dress, some heels, put on some makeup or at the very least worn one of my specially purchased cruise sarongs! Nevertheless there I was looking "mooi" in my bikini top and orange towel! FYI Orange is SO not my colour.
Me and the clever old toppies!
The finals were pretty tense and eventually 3 of us were tied on 3 answers each.... time for the sudden death round! The first question I heard was "What is petit four" - I KNEW THIS... I shouted out that they are small little square cakes. "No!" the quiz master said... I was devastated until I realized he had asked "What is "petit point" ! Clearly my mind had been at High Tea at the Mount Nelson... no matter, no-one else got it either!
Then he asked "What's the Southern most state in America"... I KNEW THIS - I HAD BEEN THERE! I shouted out Florida... No! He said. I was floored - WTF?? he asked the other contestants and when he got to the old dude he did a little hula dance and the chap croaked Hawaii! So he won (I take it then that Florida is the Southern most state in the Continental USA??)
aaaagghh.. there went my prize! My free Cruise, my upgrade, MY COCKTAILS! But then I saw the BIG PRIZE was a MSC Melody wallet and I felt instantly better!! Whose the loser now, Old Man!!
So I walked back to my lounger with my head held high and high-fived my Cruise Buddy, who was now lieing prone receiving treatment for shock from the ship's medic!
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